Sunday, September 4, 2011

Vampires Suck-Movie Review

This 2010 movie is so well  cast that you would swear they are the same kids who starred in Twilight and New Moon, the Hollywood hits that have teen age girls swooning over Edward and Jacob. The heroine, Becca has the same maddening twitches, the same confusing bewilderment that the star of Twilight does.

If you've never watched either of those, you will probably be confused by the crazy parody and ridiculous events witnessed. We do have the vampires drinking True Blood, and we can see other derivative drama unfolding from that hit HBO series.

Personally, as a grown woman, I soon became tired of the whole thing, but continued until the end just for the purpose of giving a fair review.

With so much name dropping, the piece dates itself and will soon become meaningless. We see the cover of a magazine posting Tiger Woods picture. The heroine's mom was being banged, she said. We have mention of Face book, the Kardashiens, Jonas Brothers, George Clooney, and Cris Brown, all in appropriate context.

You could just about slap the stuff out of Becca because she can't seem to figure out why Edward is "different". Why do cute girls fall for SSJ, the Strong Silent Jerk ?
Nothing is sacred in this film, the dad is gross, beats up his friend who is wheel chair bound, and says crude stuff to his daughter. In the roll playing for safety part, she maces him, tears off his 'stash, and kicks him in the balls. Sad stuff.

I think its rated pg-13. I'd rate it a  near TDFW, too dumb for words. Again, if you're going to watch it, it will seriously help to find and watch the Twilight series.

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